If You Ask Me
by Eleanor Roosevelt

I do not like to give advice in such intimate family matters as these, where the feelings of the individuals involved enter into the solution.

In a general way, however, I should say that it might be that your parents found it hard to adjust to having a child, whom they had always regarded as a baby, actually living a life of her own and belonging primarily to her husband. If that is the cause, it will take time and patience both on your part and on your husband's part, and an effort on the part of your parents, to realize that all people grow up and that parents often have to develop interests of their own when their children leave them.

I have had absolutely no change of heart as to flying. I would fly anywhere that I wanted to fly. The percentage of accidents is no greater that it was a few years ago. The airlines are flying more planes and more miles, and as a result they have had more accidents, but on the whole the record is good compared to all other modes of transportation.

I think very few people in the United States are turning to communism as a solution to their problems. I am afraid that you will have to get over thinking that the United States is meddling in European affairs. The U.S. has a vital interest in affairs all over the world now, because without that interest the world cannot be stabilized, and we cannot prosper in an unsettled world.

There is no reason, however, why the United States should not give proper attention to helping people at home to a solution of their prejudices. There are no minority problems existing here except those due to prejudice, and the people themselves have to overcome those prejudices. The Government may help them by stimulating education on these subjects, by seeing that as a Government there is equal administration of justice and that equal opportunities are accorded to all people. These things will never become realities, however, except through the removal of prejudice from the hearts of all our people.

I think the only literature which can prepare you to vote intelligently is contained in the daily newspapers and magazines which discuss current topics, because it is the affairs of the day on which you have to base your decision in choosing your representatives when you go to vote.

Hyde Park is the name of the village and post-office address for all the people living in a certain area. Our particular place has had several names, but we always give the address as Hyde Park because that is the post-office address. It was named for Sir Edward Hyde, who as governor had granted the patent in 1705 to Jacob Regner and company. In that company was Peter Franconnier. In 1772, Dr. John Bard, who was married to Peter Franconnier's granddaughter, purchased land and gave the name "Hyde Park" to his own residential portion of the land.

If I were you I would take an immediate interest in the parent-teachers association. Your child will be going to nursery school or kindergarten before long, and you might take an interest now in the school facilities in your community. I think you will find that that will lead to your joining other organizations. Perhaps in connection with your husband's business there are certain groups to which other women belong, which you could enjoy too.

I do not know that I have been particularly successful as a public speaker. I think I have made progress. I found I did not know how to control my voice, so I took some lessons to help me to do so. Then I worked very hard to think out the things that I wished to say and to find ways in which I could hold the attention of an audience. If I were to define what I believe makes a good speaker, I should say:

a. It is essential to be heard.

b. A speaker must have something to say.

The way it is said and the effectiveness of the presentation are largely something that has to be developed through practice.

I do not think that there is much that you can do. You might write the young man and ask him to come to see you, or you could telephone him. I would not, however, be too insistent, but perhaps if you make one effort he would come and tell you what went wrong.

I am a very poor person to answer this question. Denominations mean very little to me. I would go to any church available if I felt the need and it gave me help to live my life better. I think if we pattern our lives on the life of Christ we will find that He made little mention of denominations. He was a Jew and yet He founded the Christian religion.

I do not know the difference between the Church of Christ and the Methodists and, of course, you and your husband will have to decide between you what actually seems important to you, but to me the way your personal religion makes you live your life is the only thing that really matters.

For your own future, I think it would be far better if you went to college, for the reason that college will give more training to your mind and prepare you for wider enjoyments in life as well as for better work, whatever occupation you choose. However, if you do not like to study law, I see no reason why you should do that; and if when you come out of college you want to become part owner and a worker in a small garage, I see nothing degrading about it. College may equip you to earn a better living when you start to work in the garage.