If You Ask Me
by Eleanor Roosevelt

It probably isn't possible for a man to judge how much he will be making when his children reach college age, but if he goes along and has children reasonably spaced, he is apt to have a fairly good idea of how he is getting on in the world.

Yes, I think you are right, and I think the sooner we learn that cancer is curable if recognized in time, the greater the chances of curing and saving more people who suffer from this disease.

I think when a girl or a boy is through with her or his education and starts out to earn a living, it is very salutary to have to live on a salary. In fact, if a child earning a living has to pay something for board and lodging at home, I think it will give him a better idea of what living costs amount to, and even if the parents take the money and put it into a fund for that child to have in the future, I think it is a good experience.

If such a course is well given, I think the kind of instruction that you seem to have had is well worth while; but if it cannot be given well at school, then I think the parents should manage to answer the questions and a child should not hesitate to ask whatever is on his or her mind. This is natural curiosity, and knowledge is necessary for safety.

I certainly do not think you should have any sense of guilt. In a few short years I hope Social Security will mean that everybody who has worked during the best years of their life will have sufficient to live on from the time they stop work. In the meantime, I wish that checks did not have to carry the word "indigent"; but just forget about it, and certainly do not feel any sense of shame or guilt.

I have always felt that in some way the objectives you are suggesting should be achieved. Just how to do it is the difficulty, since some states do not have the proper legislation, and in other cases there are religious scruples to be encountered, but it seems quite terrible to allow the mentally unfit to continue to have children.

I think I enjoy most my service on the United Nations, though while I am actually doing the work, I find the amount of time consumed going back and forth leaves me so little time for myself that I feel a little driven and sometimes a little resentful! Nevertheless, the work is very interesting and I feel that if we succeed, this small amount of sacrifice will mean nothing to any of us. Almost equally, however, though for different reasons, I enjoy writing, so I am a fortunate person.

I think there are many people who are lonesome as they grow older, but I wonder if you could not do something to narrow the gulf between you and the younger generation. Usually we cannot see eye to eye because we grew up in different periods, and have different viewpoints, but we can listen understandingly to each other, and those of us who are older can provide patience and tolerance and interest for the young. When we get older we see more and more clearly that it is only through companionship with the young that we ourselves can stay young.

I really cannot advise you except to say that if you would stop worrying about yourself and think about others, and give them a good time, you probably would find yourself gathering more friends around you, and before you knew it you would have as many friends as you wanted.

It depends entirely on what those are. Some things that were frowned upon in 1897 can well be accepted today. Others we would be wise to continue to oppose.