If You Ask Me
by Eleanor Roosevelt

I had no idea what the correct answer to this question was. I have always worn my wedding ring with my engagement ring as a guard for the wedding ring, but I have done a little research and find that the engagement ring is a variation of the "keeper ring," a diamond hoop of our own Colonial period and somewhat similar to today's wedding ring. It was given for betrothal and also mentioned as the "hoop ring," and was worn next to the wide wedding band, so that the latter could not be lost. It was later known as the "guard ring." Women considered it bad luck to lose their wedding rings, once placed on the finger by the clergyman or magistrate. The ring was never taken off during life.

I have followed the custom without knowing it. I have never taken my wedding ring off and I have always worn my engagement ring as a guard ring, though it happens to have a diamond in it, and I really should wear a guard ring to keep it from dropping off!

I thought that the public had made it clear that it does not want any more regulation than is absolutely necessary. I heard a good deal of complaint about the possibility of rationing any clothes. It might be possible, if you have a charge account, to put in your order for what you want and ask the shop to fill it when they are able to do so.

I do not think that women have to be subservient to anybody. It depends entirely on their own characters.

I do not know what you can do about it except to write in and tell the sponsors that you object to their commercials. Perhaps they can make them more interesting from your point of view.

I hardly think that I would be suited to such a mission. I do not speak Russian and I have no background for any political mission. There are innumerable people who could be far more useful officially than it would be possible for me to be.

I hope someday to go to Russia as a writer and to have the opportunity to see some of their achievements and some of their hardships, which must exist in a country developing as rapidly as Russia has developed in the past few years. At the same time I would hope that I might be able to help the Russian people to understand our own way of life and our own point of view better than they have in the past. If we are going to live and develop peacefully side by side, we shall have differences, but we must understand each other.

I have absolutely no idea what I could have said in my column which gave such a peculiar impression. The only thing that I have said at various times is that, when the American people become apathetic and do not keep the control of their government in their own hands, it is bound to slip into the hands of those who make politics a profession. Therefore, because of their indifference, the American people may sometimes find themselves slaves to representatives who do not really represent them.

I think they are very foolish people who really have no conception of what the next war would bring. We have been exceptionally fortunate in not having war on our own doorsteps. Our men have gone out to fight in faraway places and we have known anxiety and loss, but we have not known what bombs dropped on our own soil would mean, and perhaps that is why certain people feel free to talk about the next war. Even without the atomic bomb, destruction with our modern means of warfare is far too great to contemplate another war with equanimity. War can no longer be considered civilized.

You can write to the Red Cross for information, or go to your post office and find out. Used clothing is duty-free, and nearly all foodstuffs that can be shipped are duty-free.

I am afraid I cannot give you a formula for persuasion. Judging from my own experience as a mother, however, I am sure that if you try to please your mother in every way and prove to her that you are reliable and responsible, your mother will someday feel that she can trust you to look after a dog and not to allow it to become a burden on her.

If a woman is blessed with good health, she is freer after middle age to do things outside her home as her children grow up. If she has a home, however, and a husband to look after, and has been fortunate in having a number of children, she will find her freedom from family cares is purely a myth. They are different, but they are still fairly time-consuming.

Nevertheless, the most rewarding activity for any woman, young or old, is to meet the needs of those who are nearest and dearest to her. She will not meet these adequately, however, if she has no interests and occupations of her own, since it is important that young families should never have the feeling that the older members of the family are languishing for their constant companionship. This makes the time they spend together less enjoyable and makes a duty out of something which should be a pleasure.

No. I do not think the American people were misled any more than they were misled by our forefathers who wrote the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. We haven't yet achieved everything that was set down in the Constitution as our ultimate objective, but it did not hurt us any to have it set down, and it gives us something to strive for, and many people have died for these aims. Every time that we get a step nearer to the great conception that our forefathers had, we justify the faith of those who died, and this is true of a belief in the Four Freedoms and in the hope of their ultimate realization.

Fear.

Being listed in the New York Social Register does not mean anything in the way of class distinction really. Many of the most distinguished people whom I know never were in the Social Register and never wanted to be. The Social Register grew up many years ago in New York City and in other cities, when there were just a few families who knew each other rather well and who constituted the social life of rather small towns. The make-up of the Social Register is probably done according to some pattern, and, though I know some people who attach great importance to being included because they think it has some social meaning, I do not think most people really know whether their friends are in it or not. I find it easier to handle than the telephone book when I want an address or telephone number, but it does not yield the addresses and telephone numbers I want on many occasions!

I cannot imagine that waste of the kind you suggest has been going on. Things that are no longer usable or that have gone bad might be dumped from our ships, but certainly nothing which is of value and can be used would be dumped at the present time when the need is so great.